1 00:00:01,418 --> 00:00:04,921 ♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪ 2 00:00:04,921 --> 00:00:08,967 ♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪ 3 00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:13,096 ♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪ 4 00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:17,058 ♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪ 5 00:00:17,058 --> 00:00:21,521 ♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪ 6 00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:23,648 ♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪ 7 00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:25,984 Ooh! 8 00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:27,652 - Mommy! - Aaaaaaah! 9 00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:29,195 - Duncan! - Duncan! 10 00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:39,164 {\an8}How long is he gonna be down there? 11 00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:42,250 {\an8}Yeah, I've had three cups of gravy since he started. 12 00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:45,962 All right, I fixed it. 13 00:00:45,962 --> 00:00:48,298 {\an8}You just need to give it ten seconds to reset, 14 00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:50,216 {\an8}or I'm gonna have to do this all over again-- 15 00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:52,010 {\an8}Aah! 16 00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:53,845 {\an8}Three, two... 17 00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:55,180 Toilet's clogged again! 18 00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:56,890 {\an8}Okay. 19 00:00:56,890 --> 00:01:00,185 {\an8}"Quit your band. Be a plumber." Thanks, Dad. 20 00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:02,562 {\an8}Oh, Jack, thank God you're up. 21 00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:05,565 {\an8}Today's the day Main Street's switching from diagonal parking 22 00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:07,233 {\an8}to straight, and it could get ugly. 23 00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:08,651 {\an8}I need you to take the kids to school, 24 00:01:08,651 --> 00:01:10,445 {\an8}'cause the bus just went by while I was talking, 25 00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:12,572 {\an8}so now they're late. Bye, pray for me! 26 00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:14,657 {\an8}Come on, Dad, let's go. 27 00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:17,535 {\an8}I'll slap him awake. 28 00:01:17,535 --> 00:01:18,787 {\an8}No, it's my turn. 29 00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:19,913 {\an8}Too late! 30 00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:22,332 {\an8}Let's go, let's go! Ow, my face. 31 00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:24,000 {\an8}I'm gonna be tardy. 32 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,210 {\an8}Tardy! 33 00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:27,462 Have fun, sweetie. 34 00:01:27,462 --> 00:01:29,214 Whee! 35 00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:33,885 {\an8}No time to stop, Duncan. Jump! 36 00:01:33,885 --> 00:01:35,512 {\an8}Cool! 37 00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:39,182 {\an8}Oh, no, I was supposed to build 38 00:01:39,182 --> 00:01:40,684 {\an8}a model of a working heart. 39 00:01:40,684 --> 00:01:43,019 {\an8}I totally forgot because I didn't care at all. 40 00:01:43,019 --> 00:01:44,521 {\an8}You have to write me a note saying you and mom are 41 00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:46,773 {\an8}having trouble at home and I'm going through a tough time. 42 00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:48,900 No, but if I buy you a finished project 43 00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:51,569 and you don't suffer any consequences for your laziness, 44 00:01:51,569 --> 00:01:53,697 will you finally learn your lesson? 45 00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:54,781 It's possible. 46 00:01:58,034 --> 00:02:02,497 Okay, digestive, brain-- where are the human hearts? 47 00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:04,708 Damn it! 48 00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:07,002 Dad, can I get a rock tumbler I'll never use? 49 00:02:07,002 --> 00:02:08,712 Sure, kitten. 50 00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:10,964 Sorry, Kimberly, but I'm gonna have to tell 51 00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,507 your teacher the truth. 52 00:02:12,507 --> 00:02:15,218 Hello, Mrs. Drooker, I'm afraid Kimberly Harris... 53 00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:17,637 Won't be in today. 54 00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:19,389 Her mother and I are having trouble at home, 55 00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:21,182 and she's going through a tough time. 56 00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:24,144 Uh, no, I'm not ready to date yet. 57 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,895 No, my wife's not ready either. 58 00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:27,522 Yes, I'll let you know. 59 00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:29,357 Thanks, Dad. Let's do it again next week. 60 00:02:29,357 --> 00:02:31,359 Wait, you and Mom are on the rocks? 61 00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:33,111 What the hell, Duncan? 62 00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:35,113 When I jumped, my hoodie got caught in the door. 63 00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:36,698 Why didn't you just take it off? 64 00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:38,992 Once you hit 90 on the freeway, I passed out. 65 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:41,536 Can we get ice cream? 66 00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:44,456 Oh, my God, kids, I see something way better 67 00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:46,124 than ice cream-- a treasured memory 68 00:02:46,124 --> 00:02:47,834 from my past. 69 00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:52,047 Ronnie D's Axe Hole. 70 00:02:52,047 --> 00:02:53,423 - What? - Ugh. 71 00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:55,633 When I was your age, the Axe Hole 72 00:02:55,633 --> 00:02:59,387 was where me and my friends went to shred our cares away, 73 00:02:59,387 --> 00:03:02,682 and Ronnie D was like a second father. 74 00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:04,476 Okay, I bought you guys beer, 75 00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:07,520 but you have to swear to me that you're all at least 15. 76 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:08,938 I'm only 14. 77 00:03:08,938 --> 00:03:11,691 Appreciate the honesty. You earned this, buddy. 78 00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:18,865 Oh, my God, it's just like I remember! 79 00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:20,867 It must be so exciting to see this place 80 00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:22,577 through your teenage eyes. 81 00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:31,419 Jumpin' Jack Harris? 82 00:03:31,419 --> 00:03:33,338 Ronnie D! 83 00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,507 Uncle Ronnie! 84 00:03:35,507 --> 00:03:38,385 I haven't seen you in 20 years. You look-- 85 00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:40,220 Ohh! 86 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,347 Anyway, what have you been up to? 87 00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:44,349 Ah, still rocking the dream. 88 00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:46,935 How about you? You on tour? Just passing through town? 89 00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:48,687 No, I kinda gave the music thing up, 90 00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:52,107 got married, became a plumber, had these little rug rats. 91 00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:55,276 But, man, I envy you, coming in here every day, 92 00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:57,696 getting to rock while I'm snaking bathrooms 93 00:03:57,696 --> 00:03:59,614 for gravy-filled truckers. 94 00:03:59,614 --> 00:04:02,283 Ha, well, there's only one thing you're plumbing here: 95 00:04:02,283 --> 00:04:04,119 the depths of rock. 96 00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:05,453 Wanna jam, Jackie? 97 00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:08,373 I need those tasty licks in my earholes. 98 00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:10,125 - Ew. - Gross. 99 00:04:10,125 --> 00:04:11,167 Let's go! 100 00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:13,920 ♪ Old friend came into my music store ♪ 101 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,715 ♪ Bitchin' that my life was such a bore ♪ 102 00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:18,299 ♪ I said, "Wanna jam?" ♪ 103 00:04:18,299 --> 00:04:19,718 ♪ He said, "Okay" ♪ 104 00:04:19,718 --> 00:04:22,804 ♪ And we're gonna keep this up all day ♪ 105 00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:24,222 ♪ Rock! ♪ 106 00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:28,727 ♪ We're climbin' up amps and rockin' like champs ♪ 107 00:04:28,727 --> 00:04:32,063 ♪ You're movin' too slow, hurry up, Gramps ♪ 108 00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:34,816 ♪ Shakin', wobblin' while I climb ♪ 109 00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:38,069 ♪ Wah-wah, Ronnie, please stop your cryin' ♪ 110 00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:40,655 ♪ Seriously, Jack, I'm getting' concerned ♪ 111 00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:43,742 ♪ Well, I guess chicken is what you've turned ♪ 112 00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:46,953 ♪ I'll show you, I'll stand on one foot ♪ 113 00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:48,997 ♪ Bow to me, Jack, I'm the god of ♪ 114 00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:51,666 Whoa! 115 00:04:52,751 --> 00:04:54,586 The god of what? What was the rhyme? 116 00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:56,087 I think he's really hurt. 117 00:04:56,087 --> 00:04:58,089 Was his foot always backwards? 118 00:04:58,089 --> 00:05:00,091 Call 911 or... 119 00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:03,887 ♪ 867-5309 ♪ 120 00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:07,349 This is my fault, Ronnie. 121 00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:09,392 I should have never made you rock so hard. 122 00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:11,144 You're Jumpin' Jack Harris. 123 00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,229 You're supposed to rock hard, damn it, 124 00:05:13,229 --> 00:05:14,939 not be a lame plumber. 125 00:05:14,939 --> 00:05:16,733 Not have these lame kids. 126 00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,610 I'm sorry, but you guys suck. 127 00:05:18,610 --> 00:05:20,236 You didn't even touch your beers. 128 00:05:20,236 --> 00:05:21,821 Oh, I'm sorry, Uncle Ronnie. 129 00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:23,698 Jack, I need to tell you something. 130 00:05:23,698 --> 00:05:25,658 The city's always hated this place 131 00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:28,661 because of our rebel spirit and noise complaints 132 00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:30,330 and giving alcohol to minors. 133 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,624 - Fascists. - If I'm not here, 134 00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:35,251 it's just the excuse they need to shut me down. 135 00:05:35,251 --> 00:05:36,378 And the rats. 136 00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:38,963 This place can't close. 137 00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:40,590 It's gotta be here 20 years from now 138 00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:42,759 when I accidentally stop by again. 139 00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:44,511 Destiny brought you here, Jack, 140 00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:47,305 so you could injure me and buy the Axe Hole. 141 00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:49,641 You can inspire the next generation to rock 142 00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:51,685 the way I inspired you. 143 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,269 I wanna listen to destiny, 144 00:05:53,269 --> 00:05:54,854 but I half-heartedly told my wife 145 00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:56,773 that my rocker days were behind me. 146 00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:57,941 Come on, who wears 147 00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:59,651 the leopard-print pants in the family? 148 00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:01,986 Only you have what it takes to keep this store open 149 00:06:01,986 --> 00:06:04,447 from 12:00 to 4:00 three days a week. 150 00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:07,534 What will it be, Jack-- plumbing or strumming? 151 00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:10,203 Oh, why'd you have to rhyme it? 152 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,455 Okay, I'll buy the store. 153 00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:15,709 Take my vest. You're the rock god now. 154 00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:16,793 Eeee! 155 00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:19,337 What do you think, kids? 156 00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:20,797 This must look really cool 157 00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:22,465 from your point of view, huh? 158 00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:33,184 You bought a music store? 159 00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:35,270 Come on, Annie, I don't want the Axe Hole 160 00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:36,563 to go out of business. 161 00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:39,149 It'd be like you seeing that fabric store close. 162 00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:41,192 Don't even joke about that. 163 00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:43,945 I understand your attachment to that place, Jack, 164 00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:46,614 but buying it just feels so impulsive. 165 00:06:46,614 --> 00:06:48,950 Impulsive? I want a divorce! 166 00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:50,952 I'm sorry, it's just 167 00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:52,954 that Ronnie D is on our porch right now 168 00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:54,664 'cause I said you'd nurse him back to health 169 00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:55,957 while I'm busy running the store 170 00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:57,834 I bought without consulting you. 171 00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:02,088 'Sup, blondie? Got a beer to wash down this painkiller? 172 00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:03,590 Coming right up. 173 00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:09,054 Okay, Kimberly, you're gonna be running the register, 174 00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:11,264 taking inventory, and developing strategies 175 00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:12,974 to optimize profitability. 176 00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:14,851 - What do you want me to do? - Uh... 177 00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:17,937 you can stand outside and hold this sign. 178 00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:21,274 All right, let's open for rock-ness. 179 00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,360 Dad, you can't just say "rock" for everything. 180 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,445 My rock-pologies. 181 00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:29,115 What up, Duncan? 182 00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:30,742 My dad bought this guitar dump 183 00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:32,285 and gave Kimberly the easy job, 184 00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:34,621 so I'm out here busting my ass. 185 00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,915 Mind if I take your sign for a spin? 186 00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:44,214 Yeah! 187 00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:46,216 Whoa, how'd you learn to do that? 188 00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:48,468 When I was a kid, my uncle ran a sex shop, 189 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,053 and I used to help out at Christmas. 190 00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:52,138 With a sign shaped like an arrow? 191 00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:53,848 Kinda. That's where I got addicted 192 00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:55,809 - to the honk. - The honk? 193 00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,185 It's applause for sign spinners. 194 00:07:57,185 --> 00:07:59,229 Yeah, that's right. 195 00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:00,939 Yeah. Whoa! 196 00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:04,401 Wow, I want that sweet sound. 197 00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:06,069 I want it bad. 198 00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:15,412 Ugh, no one honked, and I did exactly what you did. 199 00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:18,331 Looks like I gotta Mr. Mitchyagi your ass. 200 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:21,418 Spin the sign. Don't let the sign spin you. 201 00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:24,254 Spin sign, no spin me. 202 00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:30,218 Windmill, head spin, knee bounce. 203 00:08:33,471 --> 00:08:35,682 Great spinning, kid! 204 00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:38,685 He did get good fast, Mavis. 205 00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:44,607 So one time, I'm super wasted at a Sabbath show, 206 00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:47,193 and I try to grab the bat out of Ozzy's mouth. 207 00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:49,112 For some reason, I need a taste. 208 00:08:49,112 --> 00:08:51,698 I climb onstage, and security starts whaling on me. 209 00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:54,284 Long story short, the Ozzy Osbourne 210 00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:55,869 kicked me right in the nads. 211 00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,787 Hey, you needed a taste. 212 00:08:57,787 --> 00:08:59,956 Hey, Ronnie, the CVS wouldn't let me buy 213 00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:03,043 Orange Crush and vodka at 8:00 a.m., so... 214 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,794 I know that's not true. 215 00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:06,755 Fine. I just thought a healthy breakfast 216 00:09:06,755 --> 00:09:08,298 might speed up the healing 217 00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:10,091 and moving out of my house process. 218 00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:12,093 {\an8}Oh, pancakes and orange juice. 219 00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:14,721 {\an8}The perfect all-American, plastic-fantastic 220 00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:17,474 {\an8}Madison Avenue corporate sellout breakfast. 221 00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:18,933 {\an8}And cantaloupe. 222 00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:21,853 God, Annie, how can Jumpin' Jack Harris stand 223 00:09:21,853 --> 00:09:24,939 living in this three-bedroom, four-bath coffin? 224 00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:26,566 You haven't seen our mudroom. 225 00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:29,778 It's got cubbies for all of our kids' boots and rain gear. 226 00:09:29,778 --> 00:09:31,780 ♪ When our shoes are brown and muddy ♪ 227 00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,531 ♪ We put 'em in our cubby ♪ 228 00:09:33,531 --> 00:09:35,867 ♪ 'Cause Mommy ain't our damn maid ♪ 229 00:09:35,867 --> 00:09:37,160 ♪ Boop ♪ 230 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,496 See, we still rock out. 231 00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:41,039 All I know is that you're living 232 00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:42,624 in a mind prison of your own-- 233 00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:45,168 Damn, these pancakes are delicious. 234 00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:46,544 I put Nutella in them. 235 00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:48,338 I've wasted my life! 236 00:09:48,338 --> 00:09:50,006 Rock and roll is a lie. 237 00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:52,092 Life is all about family. 238 00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:55,595 Wow, Ronnie, you are a man of extremes. 239 00:09:58,515 --> 00:09:59,933 Gimme that honk approval. 240 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,351 Hey, Duncan, wanna come with us 241 00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:03,269 to an abandoned amusement park 242 00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:05,021 that still has power? 243 00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,147 I'm gonna ride the Decapitator 244 00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:07,732 even though that kid got decapitated. 245 00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:09,984 Sorry, I don't have time for kids' stuff anymore. 246 00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:11,486 I've found my purpose in life, 247 00:10:11,486 --> 00:10:13,571 and I look like a total hottie in this tank top. 248 00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:16,491 Hey, teens, who's ready to be inspired? 249 00:10:16,491 --> 00:10:17,534 - Not really. - I'm good. 250 00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:18,576 - No. - Nope. 251 00:10:18,576 --> 00:10:20,578 I'll be sad, and it'll be awkward... 252 00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:23,498 The next time you see me. 253 00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:26,501 Welcome to the magical world 254 00:10:26,501 --> 00:10:27,919 of rock and roll. 255 00:10:27,919 --> 00:10:29,587 Mia, you worship Satan, right? 256 00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:31,673 Well, I'm fascinated in the Satan myth 257 00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:33,675 as a structure by which our moral codes are-- 258 00:10:33,675 --> 00:10:35,343 Yeah, yeah, yeah, put this guitar on. 259 00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:37,303 Aren't these made with child labor? 260 00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:39,931 If so, those are some pretty cool kids. 261 00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:43,143 Yangzi, my man, what can I set you up with? 262 00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:46,479 Well, I am in the market for some new DJ equipment. 263 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:49,399 DJ? Nope, nope, wrong. 264 00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:52,235 You want this keytar, huh? 265 00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:53,528 Huh? Listen to this. 266 00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,824 Yeah, I'm gonna need you to get this thing the hell off me. 267 00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,284 Wolf, you have disaffected youth 268 00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:00,702 written all over you. 269 00:11:00,702 --> 00:11:02,162 Pick anything you want. 270 00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,580 I do need a microphone. 271 00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:05,749 Yeah, front man! 272 00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:07,500 No, my mom's last husband murdered a guy, 273 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,294 and I'm doing a podcast about it. 274 00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:11,671 Okay, you teens gotta leave. Stop loitering. 275 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,882 Come back when you're ready to shred. 276 00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:16,134 What about you, sweetie? You're into Satan, right? 277 00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:17,886 Yeah, but not musically. 278 00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:23,641 Annie, you cannot tell anyone I color my hair. 279 00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:25,935 I never would have guessed if you hadn't started sweating. 280 00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:27,729 Gotta admit this is kinda nice. 281 00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:29,314 When I do it myself, I just dunk my head 282 00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:30,940 in a bucket like an Easter egg. 283 00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:32,525 This is just another plus of having 284 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,611 someone special in your life. 285 00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:37,155 Yeah, it is. And I do. 286 00:11:37,155 --> 00:11:39,282 Oh, you have someone special? 287 00:11:39,282 --> 00:11:40,617 You didn't tell me that. 288 00:11:40,617 --> 00:11:41,868 She's a beautiful woman. 289 00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:43,036 Three kids. 290 00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,288 Voice is a little annoying, but I could get used to it. 291 00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:47,999 Well, maybe I'll get a chance to meet her sometime. 292 00:11:47,999 --> 00:11:51,544 It's you, Mommy! He's even pointing at you! 293 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,546 - Mm! - I want it all, Annie. 294 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:55,715 I wanna eat cookies in bed with you. 295 00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,884 I wanna sing the cubby song with you. 296 00:11:57,884 --> 00:11:59,386 By the way, it needs a bridge. 297 00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:01,554 I wanna be doing dishes and you put your arms 298 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:04,557 around my waist and say, "Hey, babe," and I giggle. 299 00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,476 I'm married to Jack. 300 00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:08,061 That's cool. Little tweak. 301 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,897 I'm doing dishes. You and Jack come in. 302 00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:13,149 He slides his hand on my lower back: 303 00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:15,068 "Lookin' kinda sudsy there, Ronnie." 304 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:17,445 Hey, uh, Ronnie, would you leave my home? 305 00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:23,785 Whoa, bitchin' shirt. 306 00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:25,620 Can I rock you, or are you just rocking? 307 00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:27,372 Yeah, I've got a passion. 308 00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:28,665 My parents just don't get it. 309 00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:30,000 Been there, man. 310 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,793 Gotta do what your heart's telling you. 311 00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:34,045 You're right. I'll take all of these. 312 00:12:34,045 --> 00:12:36,256 An entire bowl of guitar picks? 313 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,550 Kimberly, ring up my little shredder. 314 00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:39,759 Oh, I don't play. 315 00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,386 I just chuck 'em at squirrels' heads. 316 00:12:41,386 --> 00:12:42,929 I told you, it's my passion. 317 00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:44,431 That kid used to go to my school. 318 00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:45,974 He's messed up. He threw a dart 319 00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:47,517 at the gym coach and got suspended. 320 00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:49,602 Oh, you think you're cute, nut boy? 321 00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:53,356 I don't get it, Kimberly. 322 00:12:53,356 --> 00:12:56,026 Why doesn't this place mean to kids what it meant to me? 323 00:12:56,026 --> 00:12:57,569 Doesn't anyone wanna play an instrument 324 00:12:57,569 --> 00:12:59,154 and feel its power to change the world? 325 00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:00,613 That was a long time ago, Dad. 326 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,615 If we wanna change the world, we use our phones, 327 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,951 and if we wanna make music, we also use our phones. 328 00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:07,120 Hey, we should turn this into a phone store. 329 00:13:07,746 --> 00:13:09,414 {\an8}Hmm? 330 00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:10,665 {\an8}That's an E chord. 331 00:13:10,665 --> 00:13:12,042 Doesn't that make your heart start racing 332 00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:13,960 and wanna play a song that makes people do this? 333 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:17,297 ♪ Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 334 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:19,966 God, no. Sorry, Dad, but rock is dead. 335 00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:23,720 Never! There's gotta be one kid out there who gets it. 336 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,430 Hi, looking for a rebellious store 337 00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:26,806 to hang your band flyer? 338 00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,892 Nah, my stupid dad's an IRS agent 339 00:13:28,892 --> 00:13:31,311 and makes me work with him on Saturdays. 340 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:32,729 Give him the notice, Cheryl. 341 00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:34,939 I'm giving him the notice, Dad! 342 00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:37,734 You're hereby notified that you owe $200,000 343 00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:40,195 in back taxes, payable by 5:00 p.m. today, 344 00:13:40,195 --> 00:13:41,905 or we will repossess all assets, 345 00:13:41,905 --> 00:13:43,073 including your home. 346 00:13:43,073 --> 00:13:44,991 - Happy now? - Very. 347 00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:46,993 Now let's go shut down Katie's Cupcakes! 348 00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:50,455 Fine, but you're buying me one first. 349 00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:53,500 Looks like Ronnie D played you like... 350 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,126 whatever that thing is over there. 351 00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:58,213 It's a guitar. You were just holding it! 352 00:13:58,213 --> 00:14:00,548 Come on, Kimberly, time for me to kill my hero. 353 00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:02,550 - Ow! - I'm sorry, dude. 354 00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,469 Your ponytail makes you look like a squirrel. 355 00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:10,934 Oh, yeah, honk me up. 356 00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:13,269 I need your tasty honks in my earholes. 357 00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:14,979 Whoo! 358 00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:17,691 Honk-whoo? You can get a honk-whoo? 359 00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:19,818 Huh? 360 00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:23,905 Mr. Mitch, this is my turf. 361 00:14:23,905 --> 00:14:26,574 Sorry, I was inspired by how I inspired you. 362 00:14:26,574 --> 00:14:28,952 Plus, I miss those addictive-ass honks. 363 00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:30,787 You don't get honks for teaching kids math. 364 00:14:30,787 --> 00:14:32,163 Barely get health insurance. 365 00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:33,540 Uh! 366 00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:35,667 Oof! 367 00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:40,255 But getting honks is the first time I've felt alive, 368 00:14:40,255 --> 00:14:43,675 and spinning is my ticket out of this hellhole town. 369 00:14:43,675 --> 00:14:46,678 The street's not big enough for the two of us, Mr. Mitch. 370 00:14:46,678 --> 00:14:48,346 Are you challenging me to a spin-off? 371 00:14:48,346 --> 00:14:49,848 Bet your ass I am. 372 00:14:49,848 --> 00:14:51,599 Loser leaves town forever. 373 00:14:51,599 --> 00:14:53,476 No, wait. Winner leaves. 374 00:14:53,476 --> 00:14:55,603 I gotta get out of this hellhole town. 375 00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:01,401 You lying, bloated booze bag! 376 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:02,527 Daddy's home! 377 00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:04,612 Hello, my little angel. 378 00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:07,198 You lying, bloated booze bag! 379 00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:10,035 You exploited my love of your Axe Hole. 380 00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:11,786 Now I owe the IRS 200 grand, 381 00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:13,288 or they're gonna take my home! 382 00:15:13,288 --> 00:15:14,622 What do you have to say for yourself? 383 00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:16,332 - Wanna jam? - You know it. 384 00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:20,587 Wait, no, your rockin' voodoo 385 00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:22,505 won't work on me anymore. 386 00:15:22,505 --> 00:15:24,215 How could you do that to me? 387 00:15:24,215 --> 00:15:27,802 Musicians never screw each other over money. 388 00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:29,387 Let me tell you something, Jackie. 389 00:15:29,387 --> 00:15:31,639 You think I enjoyed running that place, 390 00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:33,475 always having to retune the instruments 391 00:15:33,475 --> 00:15:35,310 after you and your friends played them all day 392 00:15:35,310 --> 00:15:36,853 and didn't buy anything? 393 00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:39,439 Kids constantly shoplifting from me? 394 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:40,899 Sleeping every night in a plush 395 00:15:40,899 --> 00:15:42,734 velvet-lined guitar case? 396 00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:44,235 I would love that. 397 00:15:44,235 --> 00:15:45,987 Yeah, I slept like a baby. 398 00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:48,073 Sure, I could have taken the little money I had 399 00:15:48,073 --> 00:15:49,491 and paid my taxes. 400 00:15:49,491 --> 00:15:50,867 But you know what I did instead? 401 00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:52,285 You bought kids beer. 402 00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:53,620 That's right, little lady. 403 00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:55,413 I bought kids beer. 404 00:15:55,413 --> 00:15:57,415 Wow, I had no idea 405 00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:59,876 our never buying anything and constant stealing 406 00:15:59,876 --> 00:16:01,461 would somehow affect your business. 407 00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:02,962 Can you ever forgive me? 408 00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:05,632 Embrace me, Lord of the Strings. 409 00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:07,634 This is all very moving, but can we get back 410 00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:09,719 to the IRS taking our house? 411 00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:11,054 What are we gonna do? 412 00:16:11,054 --> 00:16:12,972 There is one way out. 413 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,557 The only bill I ever made sure to pay 414 00:16:14,557 --> 00:16:16,726 was the fire insurance because I often fall asleep 415 00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:18,436 in my guitar case while smoking. 416 00:16:18,436 --> 00:16:19,813 So badass. 417 00:16:19,813 --> 00:16:23,191 Let's say we were to, I don't know, 418 00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:26,236 play a farewell concert and set off some, 419 00:16:26,236 --> 00:16:28,363 I don't know, pyro that was 420 00:16:28,363 --> 00:16:30,532 accidentally pointed at the store. 421 00:16:30,532 --> 00:16:33,326 The Axe Hole goes up in, I don't know, "flames," 422 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:36,162 insurance pays the IRS, and we get to keep our, 423 00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:38,915 I don't know, house. I love it. 424 00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:42,085 Wait, are you talking about committing insurance fraud? 425 00:16:42,085 --> 00:16:44,170 Come on, Annie, be cool. 426 00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:47,007 I'm almost a low-level police officer. 427 00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:49,009 But who's your favorite TV mom? 428 00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:51,094 Carmela Soprano. 429 00:16:51,094 --> 00:16:53,304 And what would Carmela do? 430 00:16:53,304 --> 00:16:55,932 Oh, she'd say, "I don't wanna know about it, Tony. 431 00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:58,810 Just get it done and buy me a $2,000 cappuccino machine." 432 00:16:58,810 --> 00:17:01,646 Aw, that's my little mob wife. 433 00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:03,314 Hmm? 434 00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:08,987 Jack, these are my ex-wives, Roxette and Foxy. 435 00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:11,489 - Ex-wives, this is Jack. - Ladies. 436 00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:13,908 Okay, Ronnie, this is my first insurance fraud. 437 00:17:13,908 --> 00:17:15,744 - How does it work? - Easy-peasy. 438 00:17:15,744 --> 00:17:17,746 At the peak moment of our mind-roasting 439 00:17:17,746 --> 00:17:20,707 dueling guitar solo, you hit this pedal, 440 00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:22,083 which will trigger the pyro 441 00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:24,419 "accidentally" aimed at the store, 442 00:17:24,419 --> 00:17:27,130 and goodbye, you friggin' Axe Hole. 443 00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:30,592 Okay, this is my first sign spin-off. 444 00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:31,676 How does it work? 445 00:17:31,676 --> 00:17:32,844 Didn't you challenge me? 446 00:17:32,844 --> 00:17:34,596 Enough talk! Let's do this! 447 00:17:34,596 --> 00:17:36,681 Cool. And may the best man spin. 448 00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:41,811 Why do we have to wear these, Mommy? 449 00:17:41,811 --> 00:17:43,229 'Cause I love cappuccino. 450 00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:45,648 - Now, be quiet, Meadow. - Who's Meadow? 451 00:17:45,648 --> 00:17:47,400 Oakdale! 452 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,736 Are you ready to rock? 453 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:50,820 Meh. 454 00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:52,072 Yeah, that sounds right. 455 00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:53,365 Two, three, four. 456 00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:58,870 ♪ So this ain't the end, I saw you again ♪ 457 00:17:58,870 --> 00:18:00,288 ♪ Today ♪ 458 00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:03,124 ♪ I had to turn my heart away ♪ 459 00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:11,591 ♪ Smiled like the sun, kisses for everyone ♪ 460 00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:14,427 ♪ And tales, it never fails ♪ 461 00:18:16,554 --> 00:18:20,100 ♪ You're lying so low in the weeds ♪ 462 00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:23,561 ♪ I bet you you're gonna ambush me ♪ 463 00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:27,065 ♪ You'd have me down, down, down, down ♪ 464 00:18:27,065 --> 00:18:29,067 ♪ Down on my knees ♪ 465 00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:31,903 ♪ Now, wouldn't you, barracuda? ♪ 466 00:18:32,987 --> 00:18:34,864 Shouldn't we be supporting Duncan? 467 00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:37,909 No, two old guys are playing guitar. 468 00:18:37,909 --> 00:18:41,246 Whoo! I love whatever kind of music this is called. 469 00:18:41,246 --> 00:18:43,873 Hey, you closed down my mom's cupcake shop. 470 00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:46,084 Whoo! 471 00:18:47,252 --> 00:18:49,671 Oh, my God, they love it. 472 00:18:49,671 --> 00:18:51,756 I don't want this to end. 473 00:18:51,756 --> 00:18:54,092 We can't destroy the Axe Hole. 474 00:18:54,092 --> 00:18:56,261 I'll go bankrupt. I don't care. 475 00:18:56,261 --> 00:18:57,887 We'll run the store together. 476 00:18:57,887 --> 00:18:59,472 I'll move in with you and Annie. 477 00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:01,391 - We already discussed it. - Huh? 478 00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:03,601 Did someone say keep on rockin'? 479 00:19:03,601 --> 00:19:05,186 Yeah! 480 00:19:10,692 --> 00:19:13,028 - Whew. - Oh, it's a dud. 481 00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:31,296 Ronnie D! Rock on! 482 00:19:31,296 --> 00:19:32,464 Wanna jam? 483 00:19:39,971 --> 00:19:41,097 It's a miracle! 484 00:19:41,097 --> 00:19:44,225 The inflatable pig survived totally untouched. 485 00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:46,519 And my Hustlers! 486 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,275 Goodbye, Flying V. 487 00:19:52,275 --> 00:19:54,444 Goodbye, keytar. 488 00:19:54,444 --> 00:19:56,154 Goodbye, maraca. 489 00:19:56,154 --> 00:19:58,281 Goodbye, other maraca. 490 00:19:58,281 --> 00:20:00,367 Sorry your dreams burned, honey, 491 00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:02,035 but you really did sound good up there. 492 00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:03,661 I failed, Annie. 493 00:20:03,661 --> 00:20:06,498 I did all of this to inspire one kid 494 00:20:06,498 --> 00:20:09,709 to find the joy in music that I did. 495 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,127 Hey, Dad, how did you get your guitar 496 00:20:11,127 --> 00:20:12,545 to make that crazy sound? 497 00:20:13,088 --> 00:20:14,047 Really? 498 00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:16,091 Uh, well, you just have 499 00:20:16,091 --> 00:20:17,676 to use the whammy bar. 500 00:20:17,676 --> 00:20:20,553 Let me show you. First place your fingers-- 501 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:22,180 I remember. E chord. 502 00:20:23,306 --> 00:20:25,141 Now whammy that sucker. 503 00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:29,479 Cool. Dad, are you crying? 504 00:20:29,479 --> 00:20:32,524 No, no, no, it's all the smoke and carcinogens. 505 00:20:32,524 --> 00:20:33,817 Just keep playing. 506 00:20:33,817 --> 00:20:36,695 Oh, God, you're gonna rebuild the store, aren't you? 507 00:20:36,695 --> 00:20:38,071 Mm-hmm. 508 00:20:42,450 --> 00:20:44,452 Yeezy one, two. Yeezy one, two. 509 00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:46,287 Okay, let's do this. 510 00:20:49,290 --> 00:20:51,459 Welcome to Cry Wolf, episode one. 511 00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:54,087 In the summer of 2019, my mom told me to mow the lawn. 512 00:20:54,087 --> 00:20:56,006 That's when I noticed my stepdad's garden shears 513 00:20:56,006 --> 00:20:58,091 were missing, and so was the ceramics instructor 514 00:20:58,091 --> 00:20:59,968 at the local community college. 515 00:21:01,636 --> 00:21:03,596 {\an8}The secrets I would unravel were dark, 516 00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:05,015 {\an8}tantalizing, and delicious, 517 00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:06,599 {\an8}kinda like the portobello mushroom burger 518 00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:08,518 {\an8}I get delivered every day from the new food service 519 00:21:08,518 --> 00:21:09,644 {\an8}Yum Tummy. 520 00:21:09,644 --> 00:21:10,729 {\an8}♪ Yum Tummy ♪ 521 00:21:10,729 --> 00:21:12,981 {\an8}♪ It'll make your tummy go, "Yum!" ♪ 522 00:21:12,981 --> 00:21:15,984 {\an8}Use the promo code "wolf" at checkout. 523 00:21:15,984 --> 00:21:17,777 {\an8}Dale DeRoca was born in a small mining town 524 00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:20,405 {\an8}in eastern Pennsylvania, but he lied when he met my mom 525 00:21:20,405 --> 00:21:22,407 {\an8}and said he was from central Pennsylvania. 526 00:21:22,407 --> 00:21:23,992 {\an8}He said a lot that night at TGI Fridays 527 00:21:23,992 --> 00:21:25,285 {\an8}as the drinks flowed 528 00:21:25,285 --> 00:21:26,911 {\an8}and, later, their white-hot passion. 529 00:21:26,911 --> 00:21:28,663 {\an8}And subscribe. 530 00:21:28,663 --> 00:21:30,665 Ooh, Yum Tummy. 531 00:21:37,922 --> 00:21:39,841 Captioned by Captionmax